Be independent, not interdependent.

Love is showing no reluctance to sacrifice what matters the most for who matter.
A friend of mine said.

Love is the ability to see through the flaws of the other person and love them in spite of them or for them.
Another friend said.

Where do we see love?
In our parents’ eyes? In your chosen one’s eyes? In your brother’s and sister’s?

A few years ago, I was talking to my friend’s grand mother and somehow, ‘dowry’ came up. I personally hate taking any money for marrying a woman. It’s humiliating. So I told her that taking money as dowry is not ideal. You’d be surprised if you hear what she said, “It’s not for you, it’s for your parents for all the money they’ve invested in you since your birth.” Without a moment’s hesitation, I walked away from her. It’s amazing how deep rooted these social evils are, in the Indian minds. This could be stopped to an extent if the bride’s parents refuse to give any money but dowry has become a necessity and a means to show their social and financial status and it feel quite depressing that the bride’s parents themselves declare how much they’re going to offer the groom and thinking it’d damage their name in the society for being poor and unable to get their daughter married because of this awful act. It is true. They’re looked upon like they’re worth the marriage. I had hoped the younger generation would be better and modern in their thinking but sadly, they’re all the same.
Dowry can be the reason why parents prefer boys to be born to them instead of girls. It is one of the reasons why parents are afraid of giving birth to a girl. Boys are looked at as an investment for parents’ future (not everyone,but some). They are made to study engineering so that they can earn more than any other person does and this in turn generates huge amount of dowry based on the money he earns. Doctors prefer only doctors to marry, mostly because of professional understanding (and dowry).  Why do you depend on some other’s money when you can earn it yourself?

Let’s put the dowry thing aside.
Lovers look for love, do they? No. Being in a relationship is okay until your partner expects something in return. Women want financial security more than selfless love. Parents want financial security when they’re old and retired. Your friends want you to be rich so you can help them when they’re in trouble. Right from our childhood, we’re told to believe in God and an illusion is created that God is going to help you through all the trouble you go through, then we’re taught to believe in education to make a good life. We slowly depend on our friends to share things we can’t share with our parents and later on when you find a partner, you depend on them emotionally. Our parents teach us to depend on something or someone so that we don’t lose hope. My dad wanted me to believe in him when he put me in school, and then to believe in my teachers to help me get through my education and then the society to make my life comfortable, then on the company I work in to make a successful career.
I could go on and on.. and on.
When does this even stop? We’re being taught wrong. What we need to learn is being independent rather than interdependent.


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