On a scale of 1 to 10, what would your rating for ‘how annoying is the word sorry’ be? If you ask me, I’d give it 11. We’re used to say sorry to every little thing we do, be it bad or worse (or anything in-between). We accidentally step on someone’s foot, we say sorry, we kill someone’s somebody, we say sorry. See? Starting from bad to worse, if there’s anything that’s recurrent, it’s SORRY. When I was a kid, I used to steal money from my dad’s pockets do that I could buy some candy. Whenever I was caught, guess what happened? No, he didn’t beat the shit out of me, I apologized (sorry, I said, sorry). A little older me used to forge dad’s sign on the report card and say sorry when caught. When I was a teen, I hurt people with foul language. Coming to twenties, I hurt my parents bad. My only response to every bad thing I did was sorry.
These are what we can call, quick-fixes. They can be used as a temporary solution to problems that don’t matter much. What if you hurt someone so bad that there’s no getting back to normal? What if the damage you’ve caused can’t be fixed? What good does a sorry do when you cheat on someone? Would it ease the pain? Can you get the person to trust you again? These quick fixes can be applied to get momentary relief but in the long run, memories and feelings don’t fade. They still exist and stab you everytime you recollect. This word sorry is a word that comes out easy and anything easy isn’t worth crap. Tell me this, someone hurts you bad and says sorry when caught, remember, people say sorry only when caught, how would you feel? Instant relief? Does your anger fade away?
People say sorry when they don’t care and really are sorry when everything is lost.
When everything is lost (sometimes, trust is everything), there is nothing much mere words can do. Even when said from the heart, sorry does nothing. We better focus on long term solutions rather than these quick fixes. What good are words when they make no difference? They don’t ease the pain, they don’t make scars disappear. They are escape routes, sometimes cheap excuses people use to make you forgive them. A person hurts you for years and says sorry at the end, does that heal you of all the sorrow caused by them for all those years?
Please, don’t say sorry. Be sorry.
Try to make things right even if it takes time.