Distant noises and chatter keep intruding into my thoughts as I drive past random people. I don’t realise the speed, I don’t pay attention to the road. It’s just my thoughts and me but somehow I reach my destination safely as if my subconscious has turned the autopilot on.
Being alone isn’t something that I liked before but didn’t hate it either. Not being with people has its own side effects; not having anyone and anything relatable is worse than hell. We get out of college with high hopes, excited about the new life that lies ahead, eager to put your education to practical use but life has something else in store. What you read is seldom what you do. The outdated syllabus, the never ending competition, the constant merit segregation and a recruitment system that depends mostly on your grades beats you down to your knees. This is a world where networking gets you a job faster than your skills. The real fun starts when you manage to pass through all of this and finally land a job only to find yourself in a place where you don’t belong. The job you dreamed of is not the job of your dreams. It slowly sucks the life out of you leaving you in a state of confusion but you carry on because you need the money, you have to make a career. You’ve been waiting for a job and now that you have it, you start dreaming of the places you have in the bucket list. The moment you start paying your bills, you realise your dreams are just dreams and there’s no other option other than compromising.
All of these disappointing things float through my head as I speed through the traffic to office only to find myself alone in the middle of nowhere with no one to relate to.
Slowly I realise that the noise was coming from the vehicles beside and behind and I was too preoccupied to pay attention.
I’m now at a point where I neither love my life nor hate it and I have no other choice but to live it.