Finding a way back.

The usual farmer’s market; people going around, buying vegetables, bargaining and chattering their mouths out. I see men staring at women, I see women exchanging glances. The sky was pale, clouds were scattered and feeble and the sun was about to set.

I walked further past children crying for toys, parents covered their eyes, vendors selling popcorn amidst the blares of distant train horn. This is a strange feeling, I’m telling you, when you’re hungry and not in the mood to eat, when you see food and just walk across the street, something doesn’t feel right and you’re in conflict with yourself and fight; it’s complicated. I let out an uneasy smile which attracted stares which tell me I’m crazy bonkers.

Strange. I knew this street just a minute ago and now I don’t even recognise it. An unsettling feeling sets in telling me I’m somehow lost; I’m anxious. The heart starts pounding like drum beats in Nordic music, the eyesight is blurred and the entire body experiences a quake from the inside like you’re made of tectonic plates. The steps continue while my mind tries to find a way back home.

“When you lose your way in this world, look for a path in your words. “ says my mind and I sit down on a staircase trying to piece my thoughts together.

“Get inside, it’s time for dinner” I hear a voice and feel a hand on my shoulder. My raised head and blurry vision tell me, “it’s dad and you’re home.”

48 thoughts on “Finding a way back.

  1. Obviously you are (or have been going through) an episode of minor depression, life of my heart. It’s good that your family is supporting you. By the way, is the Big Evil C in India too?

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    1. Omg! Where the hell have you been? I’ve missed you. Yeah, the cases have been rising and the entire country is under lockdown. How’s Germany? The stats are scary, I’ve been checking European stats out. How’re you?

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      1. Me and all my family are all fine, thanks to the Almighty😊As we are not allowed to venture out, except for very very needful reasons (as you know, work is a needful reason any time in Germany) we feel a little imprisoned. My daughter is happy not having to go to school but very unhappy having to do little household duties😊I can stand very well staying at home but suffer from having no quiet corner to write, which is also the reason why I’m seldom in blog activities. Some things are a bit uneasy, for example the supply of toilet paper is not granted, which sometimes leads to tumultuous scenes in supermarkets😄But Germans are known to be quiet and orderly and so is the situation as a whole. Keep healthy, safe and sound, life of my heart😊

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        1. Haha! So your daughter is helping you out with the chores?? That’s so cute.
          Don’t tell me you’re still out there working! Stop moving around and stay indoors, please. Germany is one of the countries which has the most number of cases. Take care of yourself and say hi to the kid.
          Keep in touch. 🙂

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          1. I am working in home office like always ( in fact, in these days I don’t work at all because of lack of freelancing engagements). My husband is driving trucks (as a job, not by education) and that is continued without restrictions, except that the drivers are expected to keep distance to other persons and to wash their hands. Motorway is as crowded as usual, he says. Yes, Germany has many cases but thankfully not as many deaths, but the Robert Koch Institute, who is watching the numbers, states that the infections-to-death rate probably is influenced by the fact that people have been tested without hard symptoms.

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            1. Everything is close here, not even trucks are allowed unless they carry essentials like food supplies and medicines. Please ask him to stay safe and away from people. Also tell him to stay back home if that’s possible.

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            2. I do. Last Saturday, the regulations were less strict back then, we had a real fight bcoz he wanted to visit his cousin for her birthday and I refused to be with him. Also my daughter was angry that she wasn’t allowed to invite at least her BFF for birthday, I had a hard debate with her bcoz she obviously had forgot that BFsF have to protect each other from trouble. Oh dear, I’m just glad that the kids have Whatsapp and Snapchat and Insta at least, otherwise they’d be hard to lead and to keep content in these days.

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            3. True😊In fact I was the first in the family who started to use social media, back in 1997 with chatrooms, back in 2009 with XING and back in 2013 with google plus. Then I started to downsize my social media activities bcoz there was too much blah-blah, political brainwash, and a dick pic collection which in 100 years surely will be auctioned at Christie’s as a “small money pop art collection of unknown origin, probably 2010s”😄😄😄

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            4. Dick pic collection. 🤣🤣🤣
              Google plus was bad though, wasn’t it? Pretty bland I must say. I used chat rooms too, back in 2007, then hopped on to Orkut and MySpace, then to Facebook. Now I only use Instagram. Snapchat sucks bollocks, it’s a buggy app and I don’t know why people use it. Takes ages to open and that dog filter gets on my nerves!

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            5. Snapchat I never used, I leave that to the kids. G+ was pretty funny for a while, at least before they changed design and surface and sold Google hangouts. At the same time it suddenly changed to a platform of Putin and Erdogan supporters, and. those people got me on the nerves more and more. When it’s no more fun it’s time to leave, I thought. It was cut off completely in April 2019, I don’t know why, maybe the Chinese bought it all and froze it in, with all political paroles and dick pics, to file it for UNESCO world heritage or so😊

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