Eyes shut tight, I started counting sheep. One sheep, two sheep, fuck! I can’t sleep. Mosquitoes play symphonies, ceiling fan is slow and squeaks. I wish this unto no one, this fate of a sweating body and an itchy crotch.
If there’s any species that never runs out of food, it’s mosquitoes. Those assholes feed off of blood and it’s us who bear the name of being blood thirsty. Ironic, huh? I remember seeing a big, jet black mosquito which looked like it was bitten by a radioactive whatever the fuck it might’ve been. Life is a bitch, even to mosquitoes. The poor guy was trapped in a spider web and was struggling to free himself. Oh wait! It’s a female anopheles. How do I know? I don’t know shit. It’s a wild guess.
How do you know if a mosquito is a male or female? Do they have genitals? I mean, they’re dickheads for sure. So there’s this thing called proboscis, the male ones have longer proboscis (ding dong) and the female proboscis is thinner and more fine tuned to find human hosts. Males feed on nectar, females feed on blood. Ahem!!
Interesting thing is, the feathery proboscis; fuck proboscis, it’s too complicated to say out loud, let’s say antenna; the male antenna is used to locate females! Perverse pieces of shit.
These guys have found their purpose in life! Males live to fuck, females live to reproduce! Goddamnit! Isn’t that something to live by?? But unfortunately, these species can’t make out (not makeout) who’s male and female so they recognise each other depending on how fast their wings beat. The lower frequencies are the ladies, of course, nature is a misogynist. Okay, I’m not gonna go there. Fuck that.
Why am I even talking about this shit? I have no idea. I’m going back to sleep while these mosquitoes go fuck themselves (and suck my blood for iron).
Nighty night, fellas.