“God helps those who help themselves” she said. Uh huh? Now why would I pray for god’s help if I could do it myself? (Now don’t you dare tell me praying or trying harder is helping myself. Y’know what I mean.)
I wish I could be poetic or at least sound like it but my words betray me, they’re as rebellious as I am. I count seasons, search for reasons and mourn my existence in this callous, decaying flesh prison that I’m trapped in. I paint my world black; the hues are too bright for me, … Continue reading Sleep
Walk away. I’ve got nothing to offer; not even kind words. Look around, look at you, look at me. What do we have in common? Nothing that you can see or perceive. For me, what makes you happy is a dream. What you dread is a wound that doesn’t heal. Walk your way, I’ll walk … Continue reading State
She showed me a balloon, said it personified freedom. I asked her “why?”, “it floats around, goes wherever it wishes to, that’s why.” But a thread knot keeps it from deflating. There’s no absolute freedom. It’s a myth. You are tied even when you’re free. (Have I told you the air gradually decreases and balloon … Continue reading Freedom
The other day I was watching some soap on tv with mom and everybody seems to be flashing guns like they’re toys, giving out open threats and contracts to killers. Women fight over men and prestige. Protagonists and antagonists are both women. What sort of deranged sense of women empowerment is this?? That aside, Indian … Continue reading Uh….. I’m just sayin’
Writers are weird. I wonder why every one of them thinks it’s only a woman that feels pain. She knew it, she did that, she hid this, she fought that Don’t men feel a thing? Have our sensory organs numbed down? Why do you associate pain with a gender when it’s the same for everyone? … Continue reading Dear writers
How do you know someone? What do you say to that? We tend to explain under what circumstances we met and what led us here. Does that mean we know them?? We recognise people based on their traits and interactions. That’s getting acquainted but do we know them? If we don’t, how do we know? … Continue reading I don’t know
There are paths to happiness. They say happiness is in you, you have to look within. It’s often said that happiness is a journey, not a destination. You move through it, not reach. What do you notice? Where did sadness go?? Look closer, it has always been here. Suffering makes you realise what happiness feels … Continue reading Happiness
It’s real, it’s right yet unusual . Do I say it? Or just watch us moving apart? The dream that I want to chase, I let it pass me by, within the blink of an eye. Who decides fate? Sometimes it's best to let things be, hoping to escape misery. But sometimes I wonder; What … Continue reading Shamble – collaboration
They say there’s light at the end of the tunnel but how long is this tunnel?? How bright is the light? Why wasn’t I told that it gets bleaker the closer we move? The night has to end and so does morning; I think it’s useless to compare and contemplate because what happens happens. They … Continue reading Eventuality
If I were a book written in a language that you don’t know and you bought it without noticing, would you learn the language or throw me away??
Numbness has lost its meaning. You felt no pain before but now you do and you chose to ignore, say you’re numb. I see you lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling. All the pain inside amplified by hope is eased by your dreams. That’s the thing about dreams, you live them like they’re … Continue reading Liars
Everything’s gonna be alright. What an illusion! A hope inspiring lie! But why? I walk the same road I was on twelve years ago, in shoes that bared my toes. The boots are now strong and the story is too long, unfit to be a song. My shoulders that were once free now carry the … Continue reading Drowning
What is normal but the feeling of comfort and relevance? You might tell me I’m wrong, say normal is something that’s acceptable and repeating; now tell me this, would you accept discomfort when it’s not needed? Would you tolerate if it’s irrelevant? Whatever happens is normal until you decide it isn’t. What is normal to … Continue reading Normal.
I’ve wandered around, person to person, knocking, from one heart to another. I searched for pieces that went missing, parts of me I’ve given away, seeking acceptance, accepting judgements, craving validation. Sympathy ain’t cheap, I tell you, you have to earn it. It ain’t honest either, they just show it. The more you want something, … Continue reading Find
I don’t know, sometimes it’s like I’m holding a ladder upright, really tight with nothing to lean on; dreaming of climbing my way into the skies. I might fall on my face but at least I’d own it.
We only got one life. Everything that you have or had won’t matter sooner or later; the ones that looked and felt so important to you will become obsolete. The constant pressure of making a living and a will to survive robs us off of the life in the present moment. Can we stop for … Continue reading Motivation.
“When you’re in love, you’re born anew” they say, those romantics whose hearts wandered astray; but who knew? It’s suicide and then you come back to life and there’s repetition, until you die.
I’m you, when you fight yourself, resisting change, looking for something new and crying over what to choose. I’m you, when you are recluse, craving company; scared knowing what you’d lose. I’m you, when you laugh in the moments of indecisiveness, not knowing what to do. You’re me if you think what I say is … Continue reading You and I
Y’know, sometimes I wish there’s something called fate. It’s wishful thinking and everything that’s predetermined sounds like a dream come true because you’d know if you’d succeed or suck balls but we’re stuck in this partly predictable consequential mess of a world that has unpredictable outcomes. Everything affects everything. Fuck y’all.
I don’t know if goodbyes lead to new hellos but I do know that every hello might be a fucking goodbye. When doubts are certain, how certain are we with our maybes??
I wish I could make you my world, believe your existence gives meaning to existence itself but for what? As foolish as it sounds, this search for meaning and purpose of existence are fickle and minuscule compared to the grandeur of life we miss out on, blinded by dreams and ambitions fabricated by a social … Continue reading Uhh..that’s it.
Of course we’re all stars. We’re close from afar but there’s distance as you move closer; there’s heat radiating from all the emotional fusion and fission and we know we’ll break one day or another; imploding, creating a black hole. Everything falls apart. No light shall escape.
A white light takes over the night; I am as cold and dead inside. Shrouded in darkness, I lay and stare at the starless sky, gazing into the past, lost in the dwindling moments. I lose myself for the first time; don’t know what peace feels like, it’s been a while. A fog descends from … Continue reading Insides. -collaboration
Fuck this, fuck that, fuck me, fuck you! Fuck everything, I don’t know what to do. The literal and figurative fucks given are none, for fuck’s sake! Profanity is my poison, I ain’t no nun.
I stand barefoot, soiling my feet. It rained in the morning, sunny in the afternoon and is freezing at night. I hear chirping birds, cawing crows, gentle breezes, wild winds and howling canines. I start to erode but I stand. I stood still. I still stand.
You say I’m an aimless soul, lacking ambition and grit. What do you know of the perils in choosing? The comfort in stillness and eventuality of stagnation and degradation? Let me be, o restless one; I have what you don’t but don’t have what I want.
“It’s a beautiful world” they tell me. Who am I to deny? You see what you seek but it is different to me; you see the world as one and to me, everyone has one. Even the world itself. To hell with beauty.
I should’ve been there. I know. It should’ve been my T shirt, not your pillow that soaks up your tears; should’ve been my ears not the walls that hear. The pavement that I sit on isn’t cozy, Y’know.. my face rests in my palms, I’m restless. The stillness of this moment has me perturbed. I … Continue reading Leave.
What do i write? Of the demons that hide under my skin? Of the spirits that haunt my dreams within? The ghouls that wander when I’m sleeping, singing lullabies, weeping. I’m not alive, I’m not dead but I’m right here, enough said.