As it is.

My shoes are always hungry for my feet; I know my heart isn’t ready for the world at large. My feet lust for soil and hands, for mud and dirt. I could run up the mountain with sweat gushing down my forehead, I’m ready for the flesh wounds, not afraid to wipe that blood. I’m…

Thoughts

What do I mourn for? And whom? I do not cry for the dead, the lifeless, those at rest. Aren’t we effigies of our own thoughts, convictions and actions. My tears are for the ones living, those caught in between misery and ecstasy.

It’s nothing.

I’ve got nothing. The editor is open right in front of my eyes and I stare at the screen as I tear up because of the strain or maybe it’s just the existential dread making it’s way out. Love is in the air, sex is everywhere and both are overrated. There’s no point in writing…

I..uh…

I think. Sometimes it’s all I can do; sometimes it’s what I cannot. Sometimes it’s not the time, sometimes it’s just sometimes. It’s just time or maybe it isn’t; I don’t know. When I want to know, I don’t know what I have to know. When I do, I don’t want to. It’s complicated. Everything…

Freedom

She showed me a balloon, said it personified freedom. I asked her “why?”, “it floats around, goes wherever it wishes to, that’s why.” But a thread knot keeps it from deflating. There’s no absolute freedom. It’s a myth. You are tied even when you’re free. (Have I told you the air gradually decreases and balloon…

Drowning

Everything’s gonna be alright. What an illusion! A hope inspiring lie! But why? I walk the same road I was on twelve years ago, in shoes that bared my toes. The boots are now strong and the story is too long, unfit to be a song. My shoulders that were once free now carry the…

Normal.

What is normal but the feeling of comfort and relevance? You might tell me I’m wrong, say normal is something that’s acceptable and repeating; now tell me this, would you accept discomfort when it’s not needed? Would you tolerate if it’s irrelevant? Whatever happens is normal until you decide it isn’t. What is normal to…

Morning thoughts.

Y’know, sometimes I wish there’s something called fate. It’s wishful thinking and everything that’s predetermined sounds like a dream come true because you’d know if you’d succeed or suck balls but we’re stuck in this partly predictable consequential mess of a world that has unpredictable outcomes. Everything affects everything. Fuck y’all.

Still.

You say I’m an aimless soul, lacking ambition and grit. What do you know of the perils in choosing? The comfort in stillness and eventuality of stagnation and degradation? Let me be, o restless one; I have what you don’t but don’t have what I want.

“It’s a beautiful world” they tell me. Who am I to deny? You see what you seek but it is different to me; you see the world as one and to me, everyone has one. Even the world itself. To hell with beauty.

Changes.

I’ve had answers; plenty of them. “What do you want to be?” They asked me. I’ve had answers, man. Didn’t even think twice, “I’ll be the king of the world” and it’d sound right. Things changed. I had answers, no reasons yet happy; now there reasons and no answers. Am I happy? I wish I…

Losing yourself.

Sometimes I look at the clouds and wonder, are they as lost as I am? My thoughts drift across the sky with the clouds up high. Then I realise even losing yourself comes at a price.

Rumination

From torn sketches to lost books, it has been a tedious ride. I remember the wind in my hair and sunlight on my face as I rode my bicycle to school and the tears that ran down my cheeks because of broken things. I’ve travelled miles of years from dusk till dawn, bound to people…

I think, I don’t.

Thinking is hard: It’s like I can’t think when I try to think because my thinking fails to realise even trying to think is also thinking. What do I think about ? That mirror that makes me look at myself even if I don’t want to ? Or that tap that keeps leaking no matter…

Solace.

This is a good place to be; in the middle of this field away from morals, convictions and judgements. I close my eyes and hear whatever is happening around me. It’s quiet. I found solace, I’ve missed this. Lush green farms surround me; trees and grass sway with the wind like they’re dancing. Why should…

Argh!

The clock is ticking. I look around, look at people and notice the guy beside me is saying something. I nod and laugh. What was the joke? No idea. He blabbered on. Ugh! It’s raining outside; I see rain drops on the window glass. Wind was scarily loud. My phone keeps ringing, fuck that shit….

Minutes of midnight.

I should’ve closed the window. The calendar slaps itself against the wall making too much noise; I check my phone for the clock. When was the last time I looked for date? It’s not that there’s always something important but when was it? I walk to the calendar and try to guess what day it…

Unrelated.

Life sometimes gets so hopeless that there’s nothing else one can do but laugh and Tears don’t taste good anymore. Emotions have abandoned me a long time ago, these are the days of apathy. Crises give meaning to existence. My soul encompasses the universe and scars are galaxies with stories hidden in plain sight. There…

Alive

The great grief floods my insides; I drown, suffocate, lose my breath and now I know; I’m alive.

It’s cold. The blanket doesn’t do its job, I shiver a bit but I’m okay. What time is it? What does it matter? The walls that surround me have stories of their own, they listen to people. It’s good that they don’t speak, imagine the horrors we’d face if they did. Silence is serene. So…

Blind fish.

There’s plenty of fish in the sea, so I heard. I flung the fishing rod into the air, hoping to catch some. Every time I whipped, the hook came back with nothing. Is it the bait? I switch it and try my luck again but everything goes in vain. I’m a poet, you see, It…

Collab! (nothing too crazy, I swear)

Hey Patients! I’m having a tough time writing poetry and I wanted to do sumn different. I proposed a collaboration in which I ask a question about … Collab! (nothing too crazy, I swear) So finally! Finally!!! A collab with the one that’s always so aloof and elusive! I’m really glad you came up with…

Finding a way back.

The usual farmer’s market; people going around, buying vegetables, bargaining and chattering their mouths out. I see men staring at women, I see women exchanging glances. The sky was pale, clouds were scattered and feeble and the sun was about to set. I walked further past children crying for toys, parents covered their eyes, vendors…

Shower thoughts

We live in a complicated world. We’re taught the wrong subjects, we get the wrong answers and we learn the wrong lesson. society is an institution that creates an illusion of unity by dividing people. “It’s a free world” they say, yet govern you by laws, restrictions and sanctions. Have you looked outside your window?…

Thoughts.

We all have a strong desire to have a sense of belonging. Humans are social animals, we live in groups and a place here groups coexist is called a society. Belonging to a society is okay, being a part of community in a society is great too; identifying ourselves as a part of a group…

Your thoughts.

You are what you think you are, you’re not what you think you are and what you don’t think you are is also you. You are everywhere, there’s nowhere without you because wherever you go, you take yourself with you. Are you free? No. Are you bound? No. You’re freely bound and restrictively free. The…

Thoughts.

Time tells me this, This moment, This second, I can exist, I cannot.

Y’know…

If I had a heart, I’d lose it to you; If I had a soul, I know who it’d choose; If I had feelings gushing through, I’d call it love But I wouldn’t know what to do. ‘Coz darling I’m a fallen feather; Fleeting around, never settling down.

Mornings.

I looked at your picture this morning and said to myself: “If only she loved me like she loved herself” What an irony.